August 28, 2008

i love my bike

life is too short to worry about it :')

i have finally moved! i am in jogjakarta now, the city rich of traditional indonesian culture and with people who are as naive as i never thought they would be.

The Borobudur Temple, Jogjakarta

well, now i have my own place. a small "studio apartment" to live in. my new life is great and weird at the same time. i have my own bathroom, my own tv, my own refrigerator, my own set of plates, my own towel hanger, my own everything! mom came with me the day i moved, and she stayed for a week. helping me to get ready with leaving alone. she helped me cleaning and stuff.

once she left me, i had to admit it finally. i miss having her around. suddenly i feel forced to grow up. to do everything on my own. sweeping, moping, washing the dishes, making my bed, and even brushing the toilet (which is fucking disgusting and so hard not to vomit!). it's weird, but yeah whatever. i feel scared but excited, i feel silly but glad.

Toilet Business -_-"

i really really really loveeeee my new home. having all the space for only me! i can't wait to have my friends to come by! especially Jason, i bet you know how much i miss having him to mess up things i've tidied up. and i'd tidy it all up again. (oh yes, i never get angry either, i do love him in a weird way). i haven't come to get along with my girl neighbors. somehow we never find anything good to talk about, so we only exchange awkward smiles when we get across each other.

i think they take me as a new weirdo in town. hahaha. but i don't mind. and and and and... mom didn't let me to have a car nor a motorcycle. because i couldn't prove myself responsible enough. lol. so, she got me a brand new bicycle! yayyynes! it feels good to finally get healthy! at first it was so tiring going back and forth to campus by bike. but now, i'm really loving my bike :D

Me & My New Bikey!

living alone is absolutely different, and i'm lying if i say i'm not having home sickness. but as far as everything goes these days, i'm really doing good. and much better than i thought it would be. i love where i am. i miss everybody, but i'm happy enough :)
take care everyone!

August 12, 2008

sobfest 24hours

Jason has left. oh it definitely sucks to watch people go. i'd rather leave than to be left behind. we spent Jason's last day at his place. we talked about the future, and how we plan to move on. he came by at my place around 10pm to say goodbye to my family. and we talked the night through.

i asked him to let me cry as hard as i need to.

and he did. he hugged me so tight and kissed my forehead a thousand times. he let me cried.
"4 years isn't such a long time you know" he said to me. okay whatever, that's odd. it is pretty long silly. he gave me a short motivational speech. he told me to take care of myself, never forget to eat, and be friends with good people. i couldn't stand the tears in my eyes. i kept shouting "I HATE THIS!"

"i know you do, but you must promise me that our relationship won't ruin anything, most importantly our studies" he said again. i couldn't say anything, i just nodded. we still have holidays and we can meet each other, we'll work it out. easy to plan, but we'll see that later on.

i wonder how he could be so strong. he looks so brave. he only smiled and hugged me. i can feel he's sad, but it doesn't show at all. it seems like everything is okay. like nothing is happening. he's great at hiding what he feels, but i want to know sometimes.

i had to cry myself to bed, and i promised myself not to cry today. he left at midday, and we met each other for a couple of minutes before he left. i tried my best to look as strong as could. i laughed, i smiled. i gave the best goodbye hug i could give. with my goofy expressions and stuff. but then once the last second came. i couldn't hide my fear, my sadness. i hugged him and i said that i loved him so dearly. "i love you too" he whispered. and you know what, that was the first time ever he said that to me! and yeah, you can guess. i cried sooooo bad. i cried all day. it has been 24 hours of crying, and i'm so fucking tired already! i just stopped a second before i wrote this.

i don't like waving at you. it hurts, it fucking hurts.
is 4 years really not that long? well i hope so.

if you're reading this, you know i love you. i trust you, i'll miss you terribly. and i can't wait to be in your arms again.

August 9, 2008

hello goodbye

so, we finally met each other again! we went to do all the normal stuff we usually do. we went to the movies, walked around the mall, we talked all night, and spend hundreds of kisses and hugs to waste time. we also went swimming which was the most of fun i had for the whole week. (we tried to kissed underwater, but.. we couldn't stop laughing and drinking water lol). but then, after just 4 days of having Jason around, he's suddenly moving. college is starting much more early for him, so he's the one to leave first. today, i went to Bandung to check out his place, bought home appliances and other stuff. tomorrow is our last day together in the city, and then.. i'll see him next holiday. sighhhh
after a looooong day of getting him prepared for his new life, it came to my mind. i'm in the need of preparation myself! i have 5 days before i move to Jogja. i'm pretty sure that i'll cry because it's a total horror living alone! but, i guess it'll be my motivation for keeping up in college, so i can hurry graduate and have a future with Jason hihi :p

oh oh! and yesterday, i had a family photoshoot! i had to take a nice photo with my mom and my sister so i can put our family portrait on my room wall once i've moved. the results looked great!

my dad passed away in 1999. i was 10 years old, and my sister was 6. until now, it has always been the three of us. we're pretty strong, even though we are a bit dysfunctional as a family.. but i like it that way :p

August 3, 2008


finally.. TOMORROW JASON IS COMING HOME! after not seeing him for a month, i'm glad his journey has came to the end! teehee. i miss him, and i'm going nuts already hehehehe. yesterday we were talking, and found ourselves mourning on our upcoming days. we'll be separated again, and this time, not as far as japan, but as long as i think that 'nuts' part would actually come true. my boyfriend didn't get accepted for college at Jogja, so, he's done trying. and he'll be moving to Bandung, and me? yes, i'll be at Jogja. (for those that aren't in indonesia, we're moving to different cities). college is tough, so is this relationship. but i love him enough to prove that i can handle this. click the image if you're not aware where Bandung and Jogja is

time certainly flies, i've been waiting for a month! while waiting for the last days until Jason comes, i tend to go out with friends i haven't met in a while. last night, i went out with Yogi Kusuma (i linked his gallery on the right side of my page) and Panji Indra (a+ magazine photographer). both are DEADLY AWESOME photographers. and i had soooo much fun. i learned a lot, while drinking loads of beer. oh yes, loadssss! i went home early, because, errr, yeah i'm a girl, and coming home too late isn't so pretty. and of courseeee, as always, beautiful pictures!

Panji Indra

Yogi Kusuma

keep those clocks ticking, i'm still waiting. love you dearps: i haven't lighten my hair yet, no money -_-