May 26, 2012

Survival Mode


It's been about 4 days since I'm back in San Francisco. I haven't talked much about leaving because I've been crazy busy preparing myself to actually leave. You know, no matter how many freakin times I say that living here is my dream come true, it's still hard to leave home behind. So after a whole lot of emotional days and nights back home in Indonesia and another excruciating 28 hours on the way, yes, I'm back in San Francisco.

This time, my stay is and will be much tougher than last year. Why? Because this time, I'm in 'survival mode'. I saved for a whole year to be here and I spent every penny, literally, for a one-way ticket and two months' rent. I have no idea how to support myself after July, we'll see whether I starve to death or not. The moment I sat on the plane, I almost broke down thinking what an idiot I am, spending all my money from working really hard, just to be poor in another country! But I guess it always takes a fuckload of balls to get what you want and this is really want I want.

Since the first day here, I've been applying for jobs, from fancy museum internships, writing jobs, baby photography, to retail and barista jobs. I've applied everywhere. And to be frank, I haven't landed any job yet. So, I'm pretty much freaking out. Although, I haven't even been here for a week. A bit too dramatic. And the rest of my time? Hanging out with old friends, walking around the city and enjoying American TV.

But, even though life is tough right now, I'm actually happy. And life must go on, you never know whether you can survive or not if you never try! So here I am, testing my luck. I can't wait to be back in school this fall and hopefully, get out of survival mode and live comfortably.

Take care everyone!


With love,
Cass x


P.S: Help me buy food next month! Purchase my book online at this link :3

25 comments:

  1. You look cute bunny. I miss you. And I missed you, meet up when you're back home next time please. Be good. x

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    1. Dammit, I miss you too. Will definitely come find you when I'm back home, but you coming over here would be much better! x

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  2. Since the first time I read your book (Letters, stories, and dreams) 2 years ago, that book gave me a bunch of positive energy to keep struggling my life. I was devastating heartbreak when I bought it, and your stories help me to moving on until now. Not only heals me from heartbroken, it's also set me on fire to go after my dreams. So, I'm glad to see that you've made one of your dream to be true. And I'm proud about how decesive you are, I love your bravery to pursue what you want in life and deal with their lots of (good & bad) consequences. I wish the best luck for you there, I know you're a good survivor.

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    1. Oh, thanks for such a thoughtful comment! Yes, I tend to stay optimistic, no matter how fucked up I might be. It's just how life should go, if you don't try, you'll never know if you can make it or not. Once again, thanks! I hope you can feel inspired to go on and chase what you truly want to! x

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  3. This picture reminds me of catwoman. Lolz..you'll survive, Cassey, just sing that song out loud. I send you my love and best wish. :D

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    1. Catwoman?! Really!? Why? Hahahaha. Thanks for the love, and please do explain, why Catwoman?! :B

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  4. Well Cass. Tons of lucks for you! You're gonna survive there! If I've a chance to visit my friend in Los Altos, I'll visit you too! See you when I see you! Loves, x.

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    1. Thank you! I'll definitely need tons. Let me know ;)

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  5. You haven't tried McDonalds, KFC, Taco Bell, Chinese restaurants (God knows they need someone who can pronounce "rice"... not "lice"), supermarkets (being a cashier like you always wanted), etc. HAHA. You'll be alright, Cass. I'm really proud of you.

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    1. Talking about chinese restaurants.. Hmm remind me of this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HP2escR3qQ&feature=share HAHA this video is so hilarious! Hehehe.

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    2. Hahahahaha, my goodness mom, I hope I don't get THAT desperate. I already applied for 3 cashier jobs, let's see if I get an interview!

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  6. You made me laugh! Well, sounds like I have triggered your inner curious cat. I think you look like catwoman from the movie. You've got those beautiful eyes that look like cat, and your pose is just like cat. So A+B=...?

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    1. Haha, awesome! I love cats, so thanks :3

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  7. You are one brave girl, Cass! I hope things work out well for you there. Sending love and light your way. You still have my number kan? Don't hesitate to contact me anytime! Good luck, sweetie!

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    1. Thank you kak Andini! Yep, I still have your number. Hope to see you soon in the future! X

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  8. Aww i hope you will get a job real soon!
    You're going to survive there, best luck for you! x

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  9. just placed an order. hope you enjoy a delightful meal!

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    1. Omg, this is sweetest thing I've heard (read) all week! Thank you so much! ☀♡

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  10. imaginary comradeJune 1, 2012 at 2:48 AM

    greetings,

    have no worries, sweet pea, you'll land a job in no time, to be able to live a dream, is truly a glorified high, a lifetime privilege! give them hell! :)

    imaginary comrade

    ps. oh yes, what do you listen to lately?

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    1. Why thank you, that's very sweet of you. I'm listening to a lot of Jack White lately and of the happier side, Vacationer :)

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  11. You'll survive, Cass. I'm somewhat pretty sure of that hahaha. Some friends said that people who have gone to Borneo and other lands beside Java, Bali, and Lombok will survive both in the wilderness of big cities and of real nature. I know this sounds quite much of a bollock, but have no worries! We readers of your book and blog think you're decisive and you always landed in success. You'll get a job. And once you do, you'll cherish what you earn.

    Be safe, Cass!

    Much love

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  12. Cass gimana lho edit foto ini klihatan effect nya gini ya? Ajarin please

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